My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
