i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
