My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
love makes seman taste better
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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