your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
