i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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