this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
soo... how was my night?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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