Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
