i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
