insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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