Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
