Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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