For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
