Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
