i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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