Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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