Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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