I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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