ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
