Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize