im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize