Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
