Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
