It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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