So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
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