I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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