It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize