christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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