No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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