Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
