turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
