were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
