I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize