operation harelip BJ is a go
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize