I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
