He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
