Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize