Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
