so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
