oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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