quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
