Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
