Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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