if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
