I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
