you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
did i walk over a car last night?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
