Christians are straight up FREAKS
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
