that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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