Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
this beer tastes like vomit already
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize