the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
