My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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