i already hear my dad disowning me
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
