So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
