It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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