I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
