Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
