I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
