You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
A+ Viking dick
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
