arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
