I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize