5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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