we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
