PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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