I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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