hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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