evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
