butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
